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“Wow! My political opinion just changed because of what you posted on Facebook” – said no one ever.
Trying to figure out why I joined the gym when I have Photoshop.
From now on when skinny girls say they`re fat I`m just gonna be like, "Yup" & walk away.
Apparently, when asked by a Traffic Cop "Where you going in such a hurry?", "To your sister`s house!" is not considered respectful to a law enforcement official......
Do Starbucks employees take coffee breaks?
Is "drunk" an emotion? Because if it is, I am feeling SUPER emotional right now...
Normal people scare me ... But not as much as I scare them. :)
I Wonder what Facebook Employees do to waste time at work ?
Step 1: remove food from packaging Step 2: dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time
I got caught peeing in the swimming pool today... The lifeguard shouted so loud I almost fell in.
A man who scratches his butt should not bite fingernails!
I`m starting to think that some of you are misspelling words on porpoise.
All I want is to see you smile...that and maybe a pizza.
If you cut your child`s sandwich into squares instead of triangles, you suck at parenting...
There`s a thin line between "I should write a status about that" and "I should talk to my therapist about that"....