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My password is SupermanHulkThorGoku, that`s the strongest password I can think of.
Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But it gets boring ... so I go back to being me. ;)
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from.
When I was young I could climb mountains, these days I have to steady myself to fart.
Every time a clerk asks "Did you find everything you need?" I always answer "No, I couldn`t find a hug"
I can sum up my life in three words: βjust browsing, thanks.β
Dear middle finger, Thank you for sticking up for me.
Mission Impossible: Ordering something at Subway without saying, "ummmm".
I hate how my friends are always trying to convince me to do extreme activities. Like bungee jumping, skydiving or leaving the house.
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
Do the right thing today: Go to someone`s profile, scroll down 4 months, and like something.
If anyone knows Phillip tell him I have a bunch of his screwdrivers.
Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat`s just being dramatic.
One thing the porn industry has taught me is that this summer I defiantly need to get a job as a poolboy.