Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Surgery beds are basically cutting boards for humans.
Whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks..I`m in public.
Since my girlfriend has gotten pregnant alot has changed... Like my name, address and telephone number.
Never throw sunglasses in an argument. If they land perfectly on your opponent`s face there is no known comeback.
Professor X can move anything with his mind... except his legs.
Marriage is just a 50 year long negotiation over thermostat settings.
If it doesn`t include antidepressants, they shouldn`t call it a Happy Meal.
This post is just for you.
I just walked by an old man who kept saying, “One, three, five, seven, nine… one, three, five, seven, nine…” I thought, “How odd.”
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer !
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there`s a millionaire walking around that invented the pool noodle.
A new heavy metal Christian Rock band will soon be releasing their debut album. They`re called Nuns `n` Moses.
I just spent an hour at the gym. I couldn’t find a close enough parking spot so I left.
What do women say when they are actually fine?
Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window... If it gets any worse, I`ll have to let her in.