Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My friend named her female dog Karma... Karmas a bitch.
If anyone every texts me "who is this" I always respond "Jake from State Farm"
They should make a medal for anyone who uses an entire tube of chapstick without losing it.
You can look at some people and instantly know they’re only going to get two awards in life, a birth and a death certificate.
That`s a horrible idea ... What time?
Oh you`re in the shower? Here`s the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode
There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing next to you right now, and you`d have no Idea...
Why am I not allowed to post anything on here?
MAY` contain nudity? Either it does or it doesn`t. DON`T WASTE MY TIME
Girls who don`t get naked when you`re drunk.. Explain yourselves.
I roasted a turkey today, but I don`t think he got the jokes.
Stop calling them rednecks. The term is NASCAR-Americans. Y`all.
The first rule of elevator club is don`t talk to other members of elevator club.
Sweat pants & Uggs in public says "and I didn`t brush my teeth, either."
I put the whiskey in another room ... Exercise regimen established.