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I think it`s safe to say that my 2 year old is definitely more excited to see the fire truck next door than my neighbor.
I hope someone I hate hears their first Christmas song this year in October.
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found.
Similarities between BRA and BAR 1. Both have similar letters 2. Both are drinking zones 3. When both opened men go crazy "prove me wrong"
When I say ‘it’s a long story’, it doesn’t mean it’s actually a long story. It means I just don’t want to tell you.
As a child, my mom told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
I dont know about you guys, but I am amazed Pringles is able to constantly grow the same shaped potato. Science.
tonights theme: grab somebody sexy tell them hey, give me everything tonight!
I`m so pissed right now! I`m about to open a can of... Wait…WTF??!! Since when did they start putting child-proof lids on the cans of whoop-ass? A little help please...
Helpful Tip: You can’t get in trouble for leaving work early if you disable the security cameras and crawl out the air-conditioning duct.
I love sleep ... it’s like a Time Machine to Breakfast.
With great power comes great electricity bill.
Life`s most terrifying 10 seconds: Being held hostage in the corner of the shower by cold water.
My advise to all the young people out there, "Do not grow up; it`s a trap!!"
thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!