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Just got back from a vacation in Nevada...turns out that money can by you love.
I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds. :/
I think on December 21 all the power companies should shut off the power for like 10 minutes just to make people flip out.
I don`t know how the law of averages works, but you`d think after 25yrs of marriage I`d be right at least once
I am currently unsupervised ... I know, it freaks me out too. But the possibilities are endless!
There is a huge difference between a hot girl and a girl wearing lesser clothes.
I`d rather spend 5 minutes reorganizing the dishwasher, than spend the 10 seconds it takes to wash the dish that doesn`t fit.
You know how people dread going to the dentist? I feel that way about getting out of bed.
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone. 1) I don`t have iPhone. 2) I don`t have a girlfriend.
Facebook account for sale, Friends included...
If someone found a legit way to make penises bigger, no one would believe them.
I never use the phrase, "Your guess is as good as mine" because, well... it`s not.
At funerals instead of crying, I tie the dead person’s shoe laces together. It’s not stupid. What if he comes back as a zombie?
“I’m sorry” and “my bad” mean the same thing… Unless you’re at a funeral.
I`m going to spend Valentine`s day with my ex.... Box 360