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I know a lot of women who should substitute their lipstick with glue sticks.
The sun isn`t the only thing that rises in the morning...if you know what I mean ;)
I really love it when a hot girl winks at me with both eyes.
If you think you hate me now, wait till I start answering your rhetorical questions.
I don`t like making plans for the day, because then the pesky word "premeditated " gets thrown around in court.
I stay a bit overweight because it wouldn`t be fair to all the skinny people if I were this attractive, intelligent, funny, AND thin ... It`s a public service really.
If there were "Box Tops for Education" on cases of beer, my kid`s school would be rich.
The Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
Unless otherwise stated, I have no idea what Iām talking about.
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, āIām not crazy!ā and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
National no bra day wasn`t as successful as the creators had hoped. due to sagging attendants and lack of support.
It`s kind of weird that beams of electricity strike down from the sky and we`re all just okay with it.
I have decided to stop exercising and just learn Photoshop.
I wonder who Jason Waterfalls is and why did TLC not want him to go...
I was in my kitchen cleaning when suddenly I realized OMG! ... I`m late for Facebook!!