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I`m pretty sure all dogs can smell drugs. It`s just that most of them aren`t snitches.
What number SPF blocks people?
I sleep better when I`m naked why can`t my boss understand this?!
When girls wear yoga pants I feel like a ghost from Mario. Uncontrollably attracted when they turn away, but frozen when they look at me.
I stick pins and needles in the people I don`t like because can`t afford voodoo dolls.
I worry about the future because I know my friends that are teachers.
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in
The NFL has hired their first female referee ... She will be throwing flags for penalties the teams committed 5 years ago.
My participation in this meeting will be based solely on the snacks they provide.
Who`s more foolish, a fool or the person who takes a fool`s advice?
I wish I had a job where I could punch stupid motherf*ckers in the face all day.
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time.
What ? Who ? Exactly my point. Now move along and go read something else. Nosey !!
I like to think that people that unfriend me wake up months later regretting that irreversible and life altering decision.
Can I get likes for no reason?