Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Never look back. That’s where all the monsters are.
I have a brilliant idea once every seven beers.
Pretty considerate of germs to count all the way to five before jumping on the food we drop.
I’m a proud supporter of messy hair and sweatpants.
Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was a big white bear with no sexual preference.
"Go left at the chopsticks in the road" - Chinese directions
If your that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
The mechanic asked if I wanted my tires rotated and I was like, "No thanks, I`m pretty sure they do that all by themselves while I`m driving"
“Can we talk tomorrow?” is my way of saying “I’ll try to do a better job of avoiding you tomorrow?”
Ever look in a mirror wondering about the stranger staring back & then realize it`s your neighbor`s window and they`re calling the cops?
You know it`s cold outside when during rush hour you get the mitten instead of the finger.
Is a bath relaxing for Michael Phelps, or does he just feel like he is at work?
I`ve always wondered is jellyfish are sad because there are no peanut butter fish.
Women say childbirth is the most painful thing... obviously they have never stepped on a Lego.