Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hot Pockets: For when you want every bite to be a different temperature.
liquor stores should sell Shamwows.. I bet they would conquer any challenge alcohol can conjure up. spills.. puke.. all kinds of messes.
Urban Dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
It should be standard for wedding invitations to state if there will be an open bar or not.
the jeremy kyle show, the only place you`ll see a six month old baby with more teeth than thier parents
I live for two reasons. 1) I was born. 2) I haven`t died yet.
Please don’t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I’m awesome doesn’t mean I like you.
so far so good.... no unexpected father`s day cards or presents!
That awkward moment when the automatic flushing toilet goes off when you`re still sitting down.
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, “I’m not crazy!” and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
I was the hot single in my area the whole time.
Most people don’t act stupid – it’s the real thing.
Mornings are the best when they start in the afternoon.
Do short people start their childhood stories with "when I was little", too?
Never look directly at the people having a sizzling plate of fajitas delivered to their table... It’s what they want.