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Organized people are just too lazy to look for things!
That urge you get to write, "No one cares" on someone`s status.
She might be ugly now, but wait a few more drinks.
I make one mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
It isn`t a successful BBQ until an intoxicated idiot runs face first into a sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
Given the places I`ve had my tongue, no we cannot "just be friends".
Wait, there`s a "wrong hole"?
Success is like pregnancy, everyone congratulates you but no one knows how many times you`ve been screwed to get there.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If your parents told you you`re beautiful, they`re lyin to you..:D
I used to date a magazine editor. But, I broke up with her because she just had too many issues. No YOU shut up!
props to the parent at the mall that walked up afterward to ask santa what his kid wanted lol
After all these years, I`m beginning to suspect that Waldo doesn`t want to be found.
I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes this morning. Tomorrow I might even turn it on, but let’s not rush into things.
My body needs a refresh button.
You ever notice “q”, “p”, “b” and “d” is the same letter but with a different angle.