Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Never judge a man ’till you’ve driven a mile with his wife.
I have been snoring a lot lately and apparently my coworkers find it distracting
I`d better check my phone for texts from friends. *checks phone* Well, I`d better get some friends...
I`ve been spending so much time on Facebook, that I forgot the internet has porn.
Personality is 40% genetics, 40% upbringing, and 20% the last movie you watched.
There’s been over 30 billion messages posted on Facebook, and yet most of us have never even talked to our neighbors.
Karma takes too long ..... I`d rather beat the sh%t out of you.
You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked.
When one door closes, another opens ... I had a Chevette that was like that.
I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
When you`re down about your body image just type "fat people" into Google images, always makes me feel better!:)
On the bright side, it’s Friday Eve Eve Eve.
I have said it before. I will at it again. If anyone is into wife swapping. I will take a dirtbike or a puppy. Hit me up.
I just want to be as thin as my patience.
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. Then they are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”