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As you Mature... you learn that you cannot make someone love you.. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in..
I try to avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they are in the middle of a race.
I feel like the majority of Eminem`s songs are just him reading from his diary with angry background music.
Grabbing a drink after work is perfectly fine.However, you look like an alcoholic when your getting that drink at 6am.
Guys write songs about girls they love. Girls write songs about guys they have broken up with
Start each day with a positive thought like, "I can go back to bed in about 17 short hours."
Bars are Weird Its the only Business that kicks you out for buying TOO much of their Product
When grown-ups tell kids they have a lot of energy, they really mean that they’re being annoying little bastards.
Im not fat I´m just easier to see
Yes officer, I know my driving is not 100% perfect, but you have to agree that it is still pretty good for someone who is completely drunk.
Immature is just a word boring people use to describe fun people.
For once in my life, I’d like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my p@nis is.
As soon as you think “maybe I can get up early and just finish it tomorrow” you’ve already lost.
I think I speak for everyone here when I say "I haven`t the slightest idea as to where my life is headed"
"I need to talk to you” is the one sentence that has the power to make you remember every bad thing you’ve ever done in your life.