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So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?
My three biggest fears are mouses, wolfs & proper pluralization.
Based on how many times I`ve dropped my phone, I`m gonna hold off on the whole baby thing.
Let`s all play a game: For every political post, you must post 5 non political posts. #makefacebookhappyagain
I`m getting so many spam emails. “Grow Your Hair Back”…”Lose weight now” …”Enlarge your manhood”… Wait… these are from my wife.
My wife went home to visit her mother today. Or as I refer to it. Her “bitch refresher course”.
When I get to heaven, the first question I`m asking God is, why does my butt have more hair than my head?
I`m just saying it might be a good idea for Liam Neeson`s to take his family members to the vet and get them microchipped.
You the bomb" "No you the bomb" A compliment in America. An argument in the middle east
I liked your facebook update, only so I can unlike it.
Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I don’t want you to like me.- Most Girls
Sure thing.... follow me... I`ll show you the fastest way to get to nowhere.
One time I threw a boomerang and lost it.. So now I have to live in constant fear.. O_o
I`m the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me, just remember: I KNOW HOW TO HIDE A DEAD BODY
Better to be incredibly weird than incredibly boring.