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The patience I have for my kids is directly proportional to the amount of people watching me.
Some things get in the way of my happiness, so I ignore them.
Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days
You know you`re single when the only calls you get at night are Nature`s.
I don`t always agree with everything I say. :)
It must be annoying for nudists when they have to clean their glasses
We`re all here because we`re not all there...
Iām starting to think we as a society may be trying to do too much with the Dorito.
Judging by the size of these chicken fingers, that chicken had to be somewhere between 7` to 10` tall.
It needs more cowbell!!
A day without sunshine is like, you know... night
I can see your camouflage pants, so they`re not working.
There is no better sunscreen than sitting in a bar.
Alright, I give up! I`ve listened to the song like 50 times now, and I still don`t know what the fox is saying!
Pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens.