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Some things are better left unsaid...That`s usually the stuff I blurt out right away.
Some of my ideas are about as profitable as selling YOLO T-Shirts at a Reincarnation seminar
Today is International Women’s Day. It was actually supposed to be held 2 days ago but they took too long to get ready.
You know you`re addicted to your iphone when you start using your fingers to zoom into things on your laptop computer. Or a printed photo. Or a book. Or your watch.
Dear grumpy people: donuts are only $.99
You should have been a chicken and just went home.
Sorry, I`m in a hurry, lets talk while we walk... You go that way.
There are two types of people in this world: people who pee in the shower and liars.
Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges to keep the crazies from following you.
I believe in the silver rule of life: Do unto others then run!
I’m home alone. Time to start my concert.
OMG this is Freaky! Have 8 beers & 3 shots, go to your phone the next day, press ‘Recently Dialed’ & the name of your crush will appear!
my girlfriend does that cute thing, where she doesnt exist.
My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself.
I’m the type of person who looks at the menu for five minutes but ends up ordering the same exact thing every time.