Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`d swim across the ocean for you.. Lol, Just kidding. There`s f*cking sharks in there.
If you ever Google "Grandfather Clock", be careful how you spell that sh!t.
When choosing a ring tone, always ask yourself, "How embarrassed will I be when this rings in public?"
Unless you discovered a dead body, I don`t want to hear about your morning jog.
Video games don`t encourage violence nearly as much as piñatas do.
Your mobile phone has more computing power than all of NASA in 1969. NASA launched a man to the moon. ...We launch a bird into pigs!
You look like you only got about 5 of your 8 hours of beauty sleep last night...
According to Debrah in HR, "Back up off my balls" is not the proper way to tell someone to wait for assistance.
My career plans were much more exciting when I was 5
I will be responsible for my actions....when my actions become more responsible.
Condoms prevent minivans.
I didn`t have access to Facebook for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
I really hope my spirit animal is a bear because well I would love to hibernate all winter.
My goal weight is,"someone give that girl a cheeseburger."
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public, why don`t you ever smile in my pictures?