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I wouldn`t say I`m an alcoholic. I`d slur it.
Sorry I’m cranky. I didn’t get my nap in today.
To all the people who think they don`t need deodorant: What in the world would make you think that?
!f yhu T@k yk d!$, then dont talk to me.
I`m pretty sure my laundry breeds while I sleep.
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
That moment when you pour yourself a bowl of cereal and discover there`s no milk. So you just sit there, wondering why bad things happen to good people?
If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me more than a week to realize that I`m not at work anymore....
Love is like a rubber band, we keep pulling, someone let’s it go, and it hurts the one who held on.
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it`s that everyone speaks English after they die.
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
How come we can put a man on the moon but we can`t made a smoke alarm that can differentiate between a house fire and cooking sausages?
When your feeling down, I will be there to feel you up. ;)
Just because I`m nodding my head at appropriate times while you`re talking doesn`t mean I give a sh!t about what you`re saying..
I`m writing this status very slowly, cause I know you guys can`t read very fast.