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I would like to wish all of the groundhogs a very safe and happy Groundhogs Day.
I have thought a lot about it and I am thrilled to announce that I have decided to never die.
Saying the word "awkward" in an awkward situation only makes it more awkward. Especially if you sing it.
Akward Moment Is When Your Twin Sister Calls You Ugly(:
I`ve been hiding from exercise. I`m in the fitness protection program.
Bring a CD into my car that I "have to hear" and I`ll figure out a way to deploy the passenger side airbags
One of my biggest fears is that my car secretly records me singing.
So I met an Egyptian, they walk just like us.
The longer I stay at home. The more homeless looking I look.
Y`all are gonna lose your minds when Donald Trump eats a Snickers and turns into Bernie Sanders.
There are 15 year olds skating in the Olympics and I can’t even walk down my driveway in winter.
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry
Anyone else pretend to work all day while thinking about big boobs instead?
Alarm clocks should come with sounds like "tiny doll feet scampering into the closet" because I am not hitting snooze when I hear that.
Yawning is the body`s way of saying `10% Battery Remaining`.