Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don’t want to sound racist, but all stormtroopers look the same to me.
Wanna know what it`s like being married? Chain yourself to a wild animal. Now kick the animal.
I donate blood 5 times a year just so I`m less and less related to some of my relatives.
You and I are just different. And by different I mean you`re stupid.
FYI: Real hippos at the zoo don’t eat marbles. They should post a sign or something.
I never sign anything until I pretend to read it first..
To the teenager that flipped me off for honking at you. Your phone is on top of your car.
Too bad the little guy "Tattoo" from Fantasy Island isn`t around anymore. They could ask HIM where the plane is!
Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
Paying a homeless man to pee on your ex`s windshield, is just about the most fun you can have with 5 bucks.
The best way to get over someone is probably with your car
I always assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late.
If you enjoy being the 10,000th person to put your thumb into a hole, then bowling is for you.
Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat`s just being dramatic.
The early bird gets the worm! So does the late bird. They all get worms all the time; there`s tons of those things. Relax, there will always be a lota worms......