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I got some new underwear. Well, new to me...
There are no bad pictures; that’s just how your face looks sometimes.
My sister told me I was not allowed to babysit anymore. Apparently the baby monitor is not supposed to be duct-taped to the baby`s ankle.
I like to keep my friends close, and my attractive friends even closer.
You know its cold out ......when you go outside..... and it`s cold out
#Redskins QB Robert Griffin III back after surgery to reconstruct the ACL and repair the LCL in his right knee. He`s now RG 3.2
Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.
I’ve watched “Aladdin” like 25 times with my kids, so I know quite a bit about politics in the Middle East.
Just so you know, I am already planning on being an a$$hole tomorrow.
I`m not the cat lady type. I`m more like an actual cat. I want affection when I want it and on my terms. The rest of the time I want to claw out your eyes and piss in your shoe.
I bought powdered water but I don`t know what to add to it.
99.9% of lol’s are lies.
I`m not perfect, but I`m the best me there is or ever will be.
Love your neighbor. But don`t get caught.
So your baby doesn`t know any tricks at all?