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Apparently when you donate blood, it has to be "YOUR" blood.
It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
Why does the need to pee intensify by million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house.
so I got really drunk last night, but I was good and took a bus home. the only problem I have now is I dont remember where I put the keys to the bus.
Do women know that it`s perfectly legal to apply makeup at home before they get in their car?
The problem with the world today is that intelligent people are too smart to have children.
Don´t believe all the rumours you hear about me, the truth is much worse.
If you don’t like something change it... if you can’t change it....post it on facebook, so we can "like it" and laugh..
Do you ever dislike someone so much that you hate when people are nice to them?
One square left on the toilet roll and no extras in the cupboard. Well played, honey. Well played.
ME- I love it when you lay me down like that, the way you touch my belly and put cold things on me baby DOCTOR- Miss this is a medical examination and you are making me extremely uncomfortable
Word of advice. If your wife or girlfriend ever asks "hypothetically speaking, if I was to arrange a threesome for your birthday, which of my friends would you pick to join in?" Never give two names......ever.
Pocketwatches were replaced by wristwatches, which became digitalwatches, which were replaced by mobile phones. Which we keep in our pockets
love me or leave me,,HEY!!! where is everybody going?
Throw a stranger a surprise party by putting confetti inside their closed umbrella when they’re not looking!