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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and ten million dollars.
is cuddling up with a good book and a cup of tea. Ah, who am I kidding... I´m looking at Hustler and having a beer.
I`m kind of clueless about pop culture. I thought "Hogwarts" was an STD
Imagine, for a moment, what you could accomplish if you had the persistence and drive of the Adobe Acrobat Reader updater.
Don`t do drugs. Become a Pop star and they give `em to you FOR FREE!
Ways to tell a woman is mad at you: 1. She is silent. 2. She is yelling. 3. She acts different. 4. She acts the same. 5. She kills you.
Boobs: Proof that men can pay attention to two things at once.
If you lift up the handle on the car door at the same time I`m trying to unlock it more than two times, I`m driving off without you.
In grade school it’s called bullying but when you get older it’s referred to as upper level management.
Do you realize that a woman`s "I`ll be ready in five minutes." and a guy`s " I`ll be home in five minutes." are exactly the same?
Some old people are driving vehicles right now and don’t even know it.
I was the hot single in my area the whole time.
If we sneezed Windex instead of spit I bet my neighbors would be cool with me standing at their window.
If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring.
I may be stupid but im also dumb! :D