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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

K-Y should be called K-WHEN, because we already know why.
The olympics is the only time when you hear "Great execution by North Korea" and it seems okay.
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
Here Friday Friday...come on...hurry up! Oh no you don`t! You come when I call you damn it! Get your a$$ over here. ... good boy!
It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. Then I`m back. Me, explaining a vacation to my cat.
Always believe a woman when she says: “You don`t want to know!”
According to science the atoms in my body contain the energy of 30 hydrogen bombs, and yet, not enough energy to get up early and go jogging.
Juvenile humor My friend David lost his ID. We just call him Dav now. Here`s your sign..................
My bank lets me send a text message and it will text back with my balance. Its a cool feature but I didn`t think the LOL was necessary.
I know some of you would find it hard to believe, but I don`t say everything that pops into my head. I don`t think the average person could handle it.
Humpty Dumpty was pushed I tell ya. PUSHED!!!!!!
Whoever convinces blind people that they need sunglasses,, is one heck of a salesman....
I like to say my kid handles funds for a multi-billion dollar corporation. It`s easier than saying he is a cashier at McDonald`s
Just once I want my skills to be so urgently required that a helicopter is dispatched to pick me up.
Hello, fire department? Is this Mr. February? Yeah, I`m stuck in a tree. Uh, I mean... meooow.