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I wish I could feel as happy as an adult, as I felt as a kid when the teacher wheeled in the TV during class
My internet addiction is getting alt of ctl.
my wish for tonight is for the person reading this status to have a Good Night!
I am currently watching the Holy Grail of horror movies. There are 10 minutes left and the black guy is still alive.
It is only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you realise that there is always a way to solve problems without violence
Iron Man is a superhero. Iron woman is a command.
I never forget a breast, I mean face. I never forget a face.
Woke up with my credit card lying on my keyboard. I can`t wait to see what drunk me bought sober me.
It’s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
I`m God`s gift to women if he stopped at a gas station last minute.
Sometimes at the gym I`ll struggle and make all kinds of awkward grunting sounds, but eventually I`ll get my shorts on.
Hey guys with the super loud mufflers on their cars. I used to put a baseball card in my bicycle wheel spokes. I was 12.
When you say "9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans." All I hear is "there`s a bear out there that knows how to use matches."
It`s not that I CAN`T be good, it`s that I`m SOOOOO much better at being BAD!!!
Went to Walmart yesterday and bought me a new toilet brush, I think I am gonna go back to using paper, it is much more gentle on the netherlands........