Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Now there’s Adderall to perk up, Xanax to calm down, Prozac to feel normal. In my day we drank beer for all three.
take me drunk i`m home
Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.
When I bust a move , it stays busted.
I’ve been waiting 2 hours for an employee to come and wash my hands like the sign says….
Today`s society is a good example of what happens when you let the clowns run the circus.
I`m getting sick of these porn sites listing my videos as "amateur".
Dear future husband, here’s a few things you need to know If you want to be my one and only all my life. I will not be an ex wife .. only a widow
It`s depressing to think how much more Dora the Explorer has seen and done in her life compared to mine.
I`m undecided about which pants to wear today...Smarty of Fancy?
Nothing says I have faith in God like the bullet proof glass on the Pope`s car.
My friend said "hey that girl has a nice butt" I said "yes i bet she can sit down excellently "
The Best Excuse given by a Lady for Missing Work ! "My husband took an overdose of Viagra.....Couldn`t leave him alone with the Maid"
The early bird gets the worm! So does the late bird. They all get worms all the time; there`s tons of those things. Relax, there will always be a lota worms......
going to mcdonalds for a salad is like going to a brothel for a hug