Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
Instead of cars warning us of stupid things, like the door is open, it should tell us useful things, like there`s a cop hiding in the bushes
Gatorade always has athletes in their commercials sweating and working hard. They really should target their real consumer. A Fat guy on the couch nursing a hangover. Is it in you?
If you want your wife or girlfriend to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
We all have that funny voice we use when talking to dogs, babies... and idiots!
You don`t look like 200 likes in person
WARNING: Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear.
Just saw 2 homeless guys hitting eachother with cardboard... PILLOW FIGHT!
My stalker twisted his ankle, so now I have to walk slower for 2-3 weeks.
I`ve robbed banks before...and they`re never getting their pens back.
I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes this morning. Tomorrow I might even turn it on, but let’s not rush into things.
If at first you don`t succeed, find out where she lives.
My mind has a mind of its own.
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics. So glad I found y`all.
I`ll never join one of those dating sites. I prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way. By alcohol & bad decisions.