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Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called “fun sized” should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
This is my Facebook status. There are many like it but this one is mine.
It`s a shame that stupidity can`t be converted into a usable energy source.
lol I rotfl
If someone doesn’t stand up to let you pass them in movie theater seats, it’s totally cool and legal to fart in their face as you walk by.
Working from home and HR already cited me for sexual misconduct.
I don’t know what my neighbor’s name is and we’ve been neighbors too long for me to ask.
What doesn`t kill you makes you have lots of hospital bills.
In grade school it’s called bullying but when you get older it’s referred to as upper level management.
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
I wouldn`t pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands.
Flight 370, proven harder to find then the G spot :-/
Due to Global Warming Santa will be giving out Solar Panels to all the naughty kids this year!
Dear Vegetarians, Thanks for saving the good food for us.
Movie comes on while im in bed: ugh ive seen this a million times. Movie comes on before I have to get ready for work: oh hell yea a classic