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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
After 20 yrs of marriage, my best move is to clean something unexpectedly.
Never realized how out of shape I was until I started sweating after using scissors for 30 seconds.
Such a satisfying feeling when β€œthe one that got away” turns into β€œdodged that bullet”
According to Debrah in HR, "Back up off my balls" is not the proper way to tell someone to wait for assistance.
I quit my job with the Dept of Corrections. That place was like a prison...
Some days should come with a warning label: This day is going to suck, bring alcohol.
If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, then why the heck is there a song about it?
You know you are the ugly one if they ask you to take the photo.
Being stuck in the`` friend zone`` is like an employer refusing you for a job and calling you to complain about the person he hired.
A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.
Just heard someone pronounce the H in wheel so I`m gonna need a minute
Where is the button to restart summer?
Remember before you give the finger from the safety of your car, not everyone has a schedule to keep.
Due to political correctness issues, "Krazy Glue" will now be known as "Mental Disorder Glue."