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My fantasy is having two women at once...One Cooking, One Cleaning.
One day when I was at the beach there was a guy in the ocean yelling, "Shark! Help!" And I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn`t going to help him.
Alcohol doesn´t solve any problems ... but then again, neither does milk.
Seeing a spider isn`t a problem. It becomes a problem when the spider disappears.
When I was your age, we had to walk 10 miles in the snow to get drunk and have s€x.
I`m doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
What if I am sexy and I don`t know it?
If I live to be 100, I`m gonna make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people. Like, I ate a pine cone, or drank olive oil every single day...
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
I really hate it when I have to watch the same channel for 2 days because the remote fell behind the couch.
Can anyone tell me how to become a illegal immigrant, their benefits are undeniably more superior to our own.
So Stevie Wonder is going to become father to triplets next year. I guess he didn`t see that coming...
The longer I sit in this drive-thru, the more pennies I’m going to pay with.
My last boyfriend used to smile and say "I love you" to me every morning as he left for work. At least I think that`s what he was saying. It can be tricky to lip read through binoculars.
Ever noticed that `beer can` in a british accent sounds exactly like `bacon` in a jamaican accent?