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I laid awake all night again worrying about why Iām always so tired.
FYI fellas: if you wake up with some chick and you can`t remember her name, take her to Starbucks. They`ll write her name on the cup for ya!!!
You have a point. It`s just not very sharp
Please: No,No.No-More about how you think relationships should be: we`ve got it , Your Single,,- get off facebook and go take your own expert advise...
Every pizza is a personal pizza, if you try hard and believe in yourself.
Just bought me a medical alert bracelet that says... "probably just sh!tfaced"
After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast.
I`ll make better mistakes tomorrow.
Unless your "Awesome Sauce" is an actual sauce and it involves putting it on a steak then I don`t want to hear about it.
Day 1-365: I am thankful for Veterans.
Women who say the quickest way to a man`s heart is through his stomach, have not seen his browser history.
Life is just like a p@nis: Simple, relaxed and hanging freely, It`s the women who make it hard.
The best two kinds of beer in this world are....Cold & Free..
I don`t know what I`d do without coffee...Probably twenty five to life in the state penitentiary.
I hate long distance relationships. That`s why I moved the fridge into my bedroom.