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when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can´t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
If I could turn invisible I’d go to Paris and beat up a performing street mime… The amount of applause he’d get would be amazing!
The amount of times I`ve had to say no to the Adobe Updater has totally prepared me to be a parent.
I wish my GPA looked like the gas prices right now...
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Yeah, I was dropped as a baby. Into a pool of sheer awesome.
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night... In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
Why are we still testing on animals when there are pedophiles in prison.
Got tossed outta Starbucks this morning for asking the really cute redhead behind the counter for a "Quickie". Apparently it`s pronounced "Quiche`" who knew......
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair. Made of steel. Twice. From Hulk. On adrenaline rush.
You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
I`m making a list of regrets. Just to be sure I`m accurate, how do you spell your name again?
I don’t care if it’s 1 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
First you told me to be myself now you`re telling to me not be an idiot. Make up your mind woman!