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You feel naked without your phone, I feel naked without my clothes.
I saw a guy today at Starbucks. He had no smartphone, tablet or laptop. He just sat there drinking his coffee. Like a psychopath.
I’ve been in this McDonald’s restroom for over an hour, waiting for an employee to wash my hands.
If I ignored you any harder, we`d be married.
Money can buy imitation happiness. I’m cool with that.
This pizza looks like a pie chart of 100% good news.
Someone said to me earlier, "Your face looks very familiar". I said, "I know, I`ve had it a long time."
People with 1 syllable names ruin the happy birthday song
When everything is coming your way ... You`re in the wrong lane.
Some young men are like bottles of wine. They need to be tended to carefully & given time to mature; which is why I keep a few in my cellar.
A friend of mine told me i have to update my self and I asked my self : does he mean there can be a latest version of me?
I need a new bad decision.
be smart, pretend to be stupid!
Sometimes I think "Screw this ... I`ll just be a stripper!"
Having kids puts a new perspective on life.