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If you see me drinking coffee from a to-go cup in public after 3 pm, that coffee is booze in disguise.
Currently in the planning stages for a hangover.
Yoga pants are just push up bras for your butt.
There`s a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking.
I like dating chicks with kids, because fruity snacks
My 12 step program means parking closer to the bar.
My problem? Smart phones are too smart.
If I`m guilty of anything, it`s loving too much. And several outstanding speeding tickets. But mostly loving too much.
The songs I like always come on when I’m supposed to be getting out of my car.
I quit my job with the Dept of Corrections. That place was like a prison...
Ok Brazil, this would be a time when it`s ok to bite an opponent.
Kinda hypocritical of me to complain about people who send mixed signals seeing as the mat in front of my door says "welcome"...
What I lack in vocabulary, I make up for in…you know...stuff...and...things...
If women kept their feelings to themselves would they explode? Guess we`ll never know.
There is nothing like sitting naked in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. I hope they let me back in Walmart.