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Do you think they still give out chips in Gambler`s Anonymous?
Guy asked me where a public phone was. I told him 1987.
I`ve always wondered how the job application process at Hooters works. Do they give you a bra and orange shorts and say, "Here, can you fill these both out"?
I won`t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
After months of uninterrupted analysis, I am now prepared to conclude that, indeed, my laundry is not going to fold itself.
If one of Santa`s helpers takes a picture of himself with his smartphone, is that an "elfie"?
"May the 4th" be with you!
She likes to call it a conversation, but mostly she`s gathering evidence.
Politicians are people who have too little an amount of morals and ethics to remain lawyers.
Even if your not successful in life , You are guaranteed to get two certificates
LOQ "Laugh Out Quietly" because LOL is giving me a headache
A high-pressure hose will usually stop a coworker from showing you any more baby photos.
So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?
If Reincarnation ends up being real... Those People who got "YOLO" tattoos are going to look... Pretty Silly
Sometimes, my greatest accomplishment is just keeping my mouth shut.