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Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
I miss being able to use the excuse "I wasn`t home when you called."
I`ll tell you what a woman wants. She wants you to drag her to the bedroom, toss her down, and do the dishes and laundry while she takes a nap.
Shouldn`t there have been one scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel`s mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man`s shed?"
When life gets you down, just remember: It’s never too early or too late for a nap.
I fell asleep at the wheel last weekend. My pottery was ruined.
Mo’ money, mo’ problems. This explains why I don’t have problems.
My life is a constant cycle of waiting until the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes.
Everything is a boomerang if you throw it upwards.
Is the "D" in Donkey Kong a typo? It should have been Monkey Kong right? These are the things that keep me up at night.
Don`t be upset that you`re single; be happy that someone isn`t ruining your life.
Over 400 billion people a year are victims of exaggerated statistics.
I`m painting a blue square in the backyard... so Google Earth thinks I have a pool.
I’m amazed by how quickly I forget what I’m doing.
Hubby wanted to start the new year out with a bang - So I shot him..