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Just curious, when pirates use text, IM or twitter, do they used emoticons` like .) .P .D or .( or do they try to fool us by using the two eyed ones?
Someone should use screen recording software to record an entire day’s worth of working on spreadsheets and post it to YouTube so that I can play it full screen and pretend like I’m working.
Honey, your haters are imaginary. No one wants to be you. I promise.
I’ve never been in love but I imagine it’s similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food.
"You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself" -- 5th Amendment, understood by nobody on Facebook.
Party like you will never be invited to another!
“Check that sh!t out” luckily rarely refers to actual sh!t.
Why do they call it "hiring a hitman" and not "ordering takeout"
Don’t you hate when the whole bus is empty, but some guy sits right next to you? I know you do. That’s why I do it.
The leading cause of divorce ? ... marriage
Awww, look. My middle finger likes you!
My grandparents still use encyclopedias to google stuff.
New marital Status update : Taken, but only for GRANTED
I found that 99% of the time, when I`m not listening, just saying "that`s some bullshi*t" makes them happy.
"User Friendly" is just another way of saying stupid.......