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Wisdom is understanding that a tomato is a fruit, but you don`t add it in a fruit salad.
When I want to trim down my friend`s Facebook list I give my opinion and let nature do the rest.
Sleep is like sex, you never get enough of it and sometimes it feels like it never happened at all.
There`s no life problem that a good "F*ck this shit" can`t solve.
Lets not get carried away it`s not like McDonalds shutdown
I would eat a lot more healthy food if it required no preparation or stayed fresh as long as junk food.
I keep graphic, full frontal nude pictures of myself on my cell phone in case anyone ever hacks it. That`ll teach `em.
Trust me ...... I can`t believe I`m still here either.
The worst job to have right about now would be that of a realtor in Ferguson.
"I want to marry a smart, rich, and beautiful woman. But I don`t feel like getting married 3 times." - Hesam Ebrahim
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!
Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like.
How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box for me to start a campfire?
What is it about being blind that makes people want to walk their dog all the time?
I just heard someone say "I can`t wait for 13/13/13" .....let`s take a moment and pray for this dumbass