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Try sliding down a water slide without running water to realize how important foreplay is
I like to keep my friends close, and my attractive friends even closer.
He turned to her, ran his hand up her thigh, across her belly and down her legs. When he turned back to watch TV, she asked "Why stop?" "I found the remote!" he replied.
Marriage. When dating goes too far.
Before I get busy doing nothing, I am taking a 20 minute break.
The best curve on a girl is her smile ;) ... Lol just kidding!
There has to be an online course that I can take to get over my internet addiction.
Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.
Soup of the day: Beer
I`m just saying it might be a good idea for Liam Neeson`s to take his family members to the vet and get them microchipped.
Life Tip: Get a birthday card with anything you are embarrassed to buy.
Hit the popcorn button on my microwave but none has appeared yet.
Do athletic people not know about Netflix?
I’ve yet to be intimidated by a fancy wine list thanks to my vast knowledge of fine wines and my eeny, meeny, miny, moe system.
Today’s Generation: “Omg my parents never let me have anything.” via iPhone.