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You know you`ve won the argument when the other person responds with "Whatever..."
My internet addiction is getting alt of ctl.
If thought bubbles appeared above my head, I`d be screwed.
Goodnight friends, strangers, pervs, weirdos and a$$holes, and anybody else I left out.
When pornstars get up to speak in front of a large group, do they picture people with their clothes on?
Pro tip: The kids run around a little longer if you forget to hide the eggs
I`ll bet other dogs must think that poodles belong to some weird religious cult.
A man in front of me at Walmart is buying a pregnancy test. I bet this is the one time in his life he wishes she had sent him for tampons!
I put the "fun" in "functioning alcoholic"
If I drank, I`d have a lot funnier status updates on Facebook than I do now. Well, at least I`d think they were funnier.
Some people should calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for 20 minutes.
Thank god we don`t send messages with pigeons anymore. Where would I find 200 pigeons every day?
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is my favorite story about how you will get treated like CRAP ... until you have something someone else needs
Not to brag, but, I`ve already consumed 174% of my daily fat requirement.
Just because she weighed as much as two women doesn`t mean you had a threesome