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People around me think I`m losing it. So today, I had to sit myself down and have a talk.
is cuddling up with a good book and a cup of tea. Ah, who am I kidding... I´m looking at Hustler and having a beer.
One trenta cheeseburger please.
For those who do not know what ADHD can do to a person, let me expla.....oooh look i got a text message.
When I hear someone say, "chicken pot pie," I get excited three times.
Children fill a void in your life that you never knew existed. And promptly destroy everything else.
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the “M” is silent.
I don`t quite get women who have like 15 bridesmaids. I don`t even like 15 people altogether in my life.
Monopoly: Destroying friendships since 1904
I stopped going to AA because all of their stories were about how they hit rock bottom by waking up next to me.
You’d be more impressed with me if you never met anyone else.
Fact: Turtles can breathe through their butts. And I thought I had bad morning breath.
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait....
Hey, sorry I`m late ... I didn`t want to come
Me: I`m hungry. Fridge: I don`t give a sh*t. Cabinet: B*tch, don`t look at me. Freezer: Lol, you like ice? :-)