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is on a Mission. The magic leprechaun told me to follow the pink racehorse to the rainbow where the orange elephant is holding my skittles hostage
I love the way everyone who uses hand sanitizer looks like they`re hatching some kind of evil plan.
I like to finish all of my drive thru orders with, "And that`s for here."
I like people... From a distance.
Do you like me? Breathe for yes, lick your elbow for no.
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness....NO WE WON`T!!
I can`t fall asleep because I am too excited for Christmas
my phone battery lasts longer than relationships this days !
I`m just saying it might be a good idea for Liam Neeson`s to take his family members to the vet and get them microchipped.
This recliner and I go way back.
Does this 50 pound bag of cat food make me look single?
We are living in a generation where Vampires are sparkly,Werevolves are gay and Witches wear leather pants.
Facebook keeps telling me people are following me. But, every time I look behide me there`s nobody there? Why does facebook keep lying to me?
I miss the old days when I could say I wasn`t around and you couldn`t check Facebook or twitter to see if I was lying
My entire working knowledge of automotive repair is derived from the song "The Wheels on the Bus"