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That microwavable meal was delicious and filling! – no one ever
Taco Bell drive-thru should have a “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
Ah man... i don`t have any notifications... better go check another computer
My wife told me her favourite position is when i lay very very still for a few hours........late at night....until the alarm clock goes off in the morning.
Defeat....the feeling you get when you realize the "next" level is just as hard......
A German boy pushed his brother off a cliff. He then turned to his mother and said "Look Mom! No Hans!"
If I can see you, you`re invading my personal space.
People think I`m crazy because I talk to my cat. What am I supposed to do? Just ignore him when he asks me a question?
Some young men are like bottles of wine. They need to be tended to carefully & given time to mature; which is why I keep a few in my cellar.
According to Debrah in HR, "Back up off my balls" is not the proper way to tell someone to wait for assistance.
1. Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait
I do yoga to relieve stress. Just kidding. I drink wine in yoga pants.
Things ain`t nobody got time for: That
That awkward moment when you remember something funny, and can’t stop smiling like an idiot.
My whole life is based on a true story...