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Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advise.
You want to piss off a woman? Hide one shoe.
Why are we still testing on animals when there are pedophiles in prison.
I didn`t give you the finger...you earned it.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the “M” is silent.
WikiHow suggested 9 Ways to Celebrate Earth Day.... I did all by ?#? SLEEPING?the whole day! How???? I smoked less, used water/power less etc. Wikiwikiwiki!!!!!
Car next to me in the liquor store parking lot has a family sticker. She has seven kids! ... I better get in there quick! She`s gonna buy it all.
I really think there should be a separate driving lane for those of us running solely on caffeine and rage.
Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
Nothing says love like hearing a toilet flush on the other end of the phone.
Judging by the way some women wear makeup it`s rather obvious they didn`t excel at coloring as a kid ...
Hey Lady!, I just deposited $43 dollars in THIS bank.. DON`T FROWN AT ME WHEN I TAKE 3 SUCKERS!
I once dated a Rockette with Tourette`s. Talk about kicking and screaming!
Somebody just gave me a free air guitar..... No strings attached