Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to
I am looking at this online special deal at Disneyworld and thinking no, my kids can annoy me just fine right here at home.
That moment you realize that the person who proofread Hitler`s speeches was indeed a Grammar Nazi.
A walk of shame is always sad. Don`t make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it.
I know exactly how a bomb technician feels when I try to open a cup of cherry mixed fruit without the juice spraying out.
Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window... If it gets any worse, I`ll have to let her in.
Relationship status: sleeping in my bed diagonally.
There needs to be more “damn it I missed my exit” exits.
According to Pinterest, I`m severely under-utilizing mason jars.
Shout-out to nature for not giving wings to snakes
Immature is just a word boring people use to describe fun people.
Do you have neighbors?.. Do you have extension cords?..... Are you paying too much for electricity?
The secret to dancing is pretending you have a wedgie and you’re trying to get it unstuck without using you’re hands.
Wondering if my heart is healthy enough for sex ... volunteers needed.