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Got in touch with my inner self this morning. That`s the LAST time I buy single ply toilet paper.
In Store Special - "You`re My One and Only" Valentine`s Day cards... 4 for $5...
If Miley doesn`t get her sh!t together, all these Hannah Montana collectibles are never gonna get my kids through college.
You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks you what you like to do for fun.
I`d hate to be a dragon .....I`d get so pissed tryin to blow out my birthday candles.
people live & people die, but in the the end we still get high.. so if in life you dont succeed, F*CK it All & smoke some WEED ?
I can`t stand people who blame everyone else for their problems....I`d be successful and happy by now if it wasn`t for them!!!!
Some idiots actually sold their homes and properties thinking the world was really going to end! What losers. I hope my boss gives me my job back on Monday
Not to brag, but they know me by name at the liquor store and the police station.
You could`ve told me that wasn`t your real name before I got the tattoo.
Fox canceled Cops. So I guess if I want to stay current on what my family is up to now, I`ll have to turn to Facebook.
Just how hairy was the dude who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?
If I`ve learned anything from the Kardashians it`s that I shouldn`t let my complete lack of talent hold me back.
Whenever I hear someone call my name, my first instinct is to walk faster
Today I think I`ll send out texts saying "Hey, I got a new phone and lost your number. Can I have it again?" ...JUST to see how many responses I will get. ;)