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A jealous woman does better research than the FBI
The Bible is pretty accurate...Especially when thrown at close range.
How many facebook friends do you have that if they posted "I`m depressed and on the edge", your first thought would be to poke them?
Dear person reading this, I could be naked right now and you would never know.
It`s amazing how the lowly potato gives us potato chips, french fries, and vodka. Get your sh!t together, every other vegetable.
I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It’s true. After going to the gym earlier I’ve decided I’m never going again.
I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. “My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl.”
At 4-way stop, the first person to finish their text has the right of way right?
Is anyone else`s alcohol tolerance too high for their paycheck?
Chinese food to go: $16.84. Gas to go get it: $2.62. Getting home and realizing they forgot one of your containers: Riceless.
I think New York has reached the point where it can finally be called York.
Yes... I repost. Isn`t that kinda the point? Spread the love and shit? Mostly shit... But that`s your fault...
If your dog is fat it means that you don`t get enough exercise.
When Miley is naked & licks a hammer it’s “art” & “music” ... but when I do it, I`m “wasted” & “have to leave Home Depot"
I just want to be rich enough to pay people to not talk to me.