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You millennials and your obsession with public healthcare. Back in my day we just died
If Monday had a face... I`d punch it.
my cross-eyed girlfriend left me today. She was seeing someone else.
An apple a day is bullsh!t. Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau.
Today I found a penny. It reminded me of you. Worthless & found in everybody`s pants.
The overspray from my windshield washer fluid just totaled a smart car.
I can come up with plenty of ways to do nothing.
One thing I`ll never understand is alcohol free wine
I`m not crazy, I`m just special!!...No, wait...Maybe I am crazy. One second...I have to talk to myself about this, hold on...
Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage.
I hate it when I tell someone I`ll be there in 10 minutes, but they continue to call me every half-hour anyway
You say hangover. I say out of booze.
Walmart has their new Savings Catcher app... I`m thinking savings isn`t the only thing you will catch ...
Figuring out that you`ll probably never figure it out is the first step of really figuring things out.
I know I am an acquired taste. If you don`t like me, you need to acquire some taste. Or go f*ck yourself. Whichever.