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I like holding the door for people who are far away, you know so they have to run a little.
If they just built prisons out of the sh!t they package electronics in, no one could ever escape.
I like to walk through the mall and hand out bags of Cheetos to all the kids I see wearing white clothes
If a cannibal is late to dinner do they give him the cold shoulder?
My last post deserves WAY more likes than that....let`s go people....chop chop!
Missed the gym yesterday.... That makes 11 years in a row.
A poem about me: I hate mornings. I wish I was drunk. The End.
If I ever sound inspriational, one of us is drunk.
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas...
Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends
If you can afford a gym membership, you can afford deodorant.
If you tell me you`re giving something 110% then Iām assuming the extra 10% is your stupidity.
2011: Come at me bro! 1800`s: Advance towards me brethren!
How does anything EVER get done at the bubble wrap factory??
Why do fifty percent of marriages end in divorce? Well, I`m guessing it`s because the other fifty percent can`t afford lawyers.