Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I know you people are crazy. I can spot my own kind a mile away.
I wouldn’t have to manage my anger, if people could learn to manage their stupidity.
Someone outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I feel like it would take longer than that...
I like to smile at people who don`t like me because I`m an asshole
I am losing Facebook friends at an alarming rate. Whatever it is that I said, is working like a charm.
You know you`re getting old when cops make you feel safe instead of nervous.
Helpful tip #12: Never buy all the tools you need to kidnap, kill and bury someone from just one store.
I can tell a police officer is gay by the way he writes me a ticket instead of letting me off with a warning.
If you respond to coworkers asking how your weekend was with turkey noises, they leave you alone.
Next time a guy says he wants to fight you, just say "not in that outfit!" and roller skate away
Looks don’t matter to me if you’re attractive.
My Facebook movie is already in the dollar bin at Walmart.
That one day of fame on Facebook because it`s your birthday.
Women.Some men undermine, disrespect and consider them weak,forgeting the countless spanks they got from their mothers
I`ve been having real problems with nuisance phone calls lately. The most common one seems to be "You said you`d be home from the bar three f*cking hours ago!"