Daily Silly Status

The most common name In China is Chang, correct me if you think it’s Wong.

Marriage. When dating goes too far.

Coffee is gods way of saying "go ahead get trashed on a weeknight, I`ve got your back"

I neither like nor want to date Taylor Swift, but I know at some point it’ll just be my turn.

I just called the Alcohol Hotline and those bastards don`t even deliver.

I don`t understand why Walmart has a problem with me bringing my dog in the store. He`s better behaved, smells better, and less likely to take a crap on the floor than 95% of the people here

I’m on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle!

Next time a stranger talks to me when I`m alone I will look at them shocked and just quietly whisper.... "You can see me?"

Settle down homemade play dough parents.

Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.

I think I`ve finally found someone I could spend the rest of my life with, I should probably get out of her closet and introduce myself.

I usually want to post intelligent and witty comments. But I end up posting stupid and funny ones so my friends can understand them.

The bouncer from my local nightclub calls me Macauley Culkin because I always go home alone.

roes are red violets are blue he`s for me not for you if for any chance you`ll take my place i`ll use my fist and smash your face

I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.