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It takes a smoke detector 4 months to stop beeping if you were wondering how lazy I am.
I`m going to hell in every religion!
just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream
What about a To-Don`t List?
Show me a bunch of people with type A personalities, and I`ll show you a control group.
I just read the words "untimely death" and thought, "Man, I hope my death is timely."
Thinking about waking up early for a run. Mostly thinking about how I will not be doing that.
If being an a$$hole was a professional sport, my face would be on a box of wheaties.
I`m under the weather today, also so is everyone else, that`s how weather works.
It should be a rule that if you dress up like a red hair clown , you get a free happy meal at McDonalds .....I`ll pay this time , but I`m not happy ... !!
So your baby doesn`t know any tricks at all?
My Status updates are so great people hit the like button twice
Im convinced that one day we will all live in the future.
If they gave out awards for laziness, I would have to send somebody to accept it for me.
I`m just amazed after all these years that we STILL haven`t seen Mario`s buttcrack.