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If my calculations are correct then someone else did them for me.
I once dated a meteorologist just so I could be with a woman who wasn`t right all the time.
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin? (asking for a friend)
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you are stupid and make bad decisions.
I believe in magic because it`s the only way to explain how fitted sheets get folded.
Is going to bed! Hopefully the Cleaning Fairies will come and clean my house tonight! Wishful Dreaming i guess!
The roof of my mouth just healed from that Hot Pocket I had in 2003.
I often wondered what it`d be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while...
Why is maple syrup so expensive?.. It grows on trees doesn`t it?
Just found out my daughter`s super power is repeating what I`ve said about others as soon as she meets them.
If you`ve had cats, the singles virus may already be inside you.
Nothing sadder than the look on my dogs face when I drop food from the table and they realize it`s lettuce.
Who needs Google when you’ve got a wife who knows it all?
While it was raining today, I thought for fun I would run out there and scream "I`m melting I`m melting!"
If A-B-C-D didn`t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn`t have to be so rushed.