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If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. Nobody will stop a person running with a fire extinguisher.
Insert coin to view my status message.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don`t know what he laced them with, but I`ve been tripping all day.
Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people`s backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching. -Bfanch
The awkward moment when you look both ways down a one way street.
My wife has a thing for bringing injured animals home... I think she should just stop driving.
Girls are like roads, the more curves, the more dangerous they are.
Proof that getting kicked in the nuts is worse than giving birth. Girls often say, yeah I`d have another baby. Guys never ask to get kicked in the nuts again.
Guys I can`t be leave I`m sharing this with you, but I saw my self on TV. After I turned it off.
Don’t let anyone push you around. Unless it’s in a wagon because that might actually be fun.
Dishes are like boyfriends. My roommate should really stop doing mine
AT this stage in my life an ALL NIGHTER JUST means I didn`t have to get up and pee....
Maybe one day a loooong time ago a kid decided to play hide and seek with his pet Bigfoot but just didn`t explain the game properly.
Have you ever loved someone so much, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping
Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok in a couple days.