Daily Silly Status

Whats the difference between a phone number & an opinion? People ask for your phone number.

I wonder if angry people know about naps?

Do gun manuals have Trouble Shooting sections?

United should roll out Rodeo Rewards where you get paid based on how long you are able to stay on the plane when you are chosen to volunteer.

There are a thousand better ways to spend your time and yet here you are with me.

if money grew of trees, girls would be dating monkeys

finally joined craigs list. who wants to see my junk?

I was like "No, Pepsi is NOT ok. I wanted a Coke." And she was all "Sir, 911 should only be dialed for real emergencies."

Start each day with a positive thought like, "I can go back to bed in about 17 short hours."

Remember, you can always run from your problems. Unless your problem is a Cheetah.....then you`re screwed!

You’re lucky that I’m so terrified of prison.

If you see me laughing like a crazy person, think nothing of it ..it`s just the voices in my head telling me jokes!

Didn`t have to do much to end my last relationship...she first told me that "opposites attract"...then a couple of days later she told me i was handsome, kind, smart, funny and loving...

I swear, if Facebook changes their layout one more time, I’m going to post a status update about it & then use their site as much as always.

I like to think the automatic soap dispenser is just really happy to see me.