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If you live in a custom-built house that doesn’t have a secret room hidden behind a fake bookcase, then seriously what is the point?
Ever have the experience of staring at an outfit hanging in your closet and wondering which of the personalities did the shopping that day?
I watched my first Porn the other day. I looked so much younger back then!
Just did a weeks worth of cardio after walking into a spider`s web.
Let me be honest, I dont even walk a mile in my own shoes.
I just read more people are killed by toasters than sharks.So if you`re swimming in the ocean and see a toaster SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!
Researchers claim that the Internet is making us dumber and more impatient. I don`t get it. Moving on.
I`m pretty sure even Santa wishes they would stop playing Christmas music on the radio this time of year.
Don’t bother looking up “impose.” It’s next to impossible.
I always wear a wedding ring when I go grocery shopping, so everyone thinks my cart full of groceries are for a family of 4 instead of just me
There is a 3-for-2 sale in my local shoe shop. I almost bought myself a new pair of shoes, but couldn`t decide whether to get an extra left or a right one as part of the offer....
Sometimes, my greatest accomplishment is just keeping my mouth shut.
Nobody expects you to post brilliance. Just be yourself, with the occasional intent of bringing shame to your entire family.
I’m so glad I was young and stupid before there were camera phones.
I don`t think I have enough money to find long everlasting love.