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"We have smaller, secret pants that we wear under our normal pants..." - me explaining underwear to aliens.
I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
The batteries in my electric toothbrush died before I finished. I`ve never sympathized more with women in my life.
Checked a lot off my thought-about-doing-today list.
Everything I ever needed to know about structural engineering, I learned from Angry Birds.
I can read Spanish, Chinese, Russian and Italian. As long as it`s written in english.
Some psychologists say that sleeping naked can help boost a person`s confidence, but nobody in this park seems to appreciate it.
Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.
Can`t believe people still say "pot" it`s not the 70s anymore we call it "saucepan" now
When people tell me “You’re gonna regret that in the morning” I sleep in til noon, because I’m a problem solver.
The next person that tells me I have no shame…probably knows me pretty darn well.
Relationship Status: Very relieved socks can`t get pregnant.
If you can`t handle me at my worst, then that sucks because that`s all there is to me.
Highways need 4 lanes per side - A NASCAR wannabe lane, a normal driver lane, an old people who drive 40 in a 70 lane & a "where in the hell am I?" lane.
Sometimes I have to go outside to get signal on my phone for Facebook so yes, you could describe me as "outdoorsy."