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Some people are normal. What an awful, boring existence that must be.
This cat poop tastes like I`m about to get yelled at -Dogs
I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is.
Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on? Asking for a friend.
I realized I eat too much fast food so I decided I would start cooking for myself. Does anyone here know how to "mcnugget" a chicken?
How did people crash their vehicles before cellphones?
Never let a medical procedure scare you. That`s what the bill is for.
Well ... here I am ... cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!
People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food
Chickens: The only animals you eat before they`re born AND after they`re dead.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole....
Newton`s third law of emotion. For every male action there is a female overreaction.
I hate when someone asks me where I see myself 5 years from now when I don`t even remember where the hell I was 2 days ago.