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Have a day. That`s about as inspirational I get.
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program
A gentle reminder about Daylight Savings Time: If you thought last Monday sucked, this one will prove to be much, much worse.
Who the hell invented Bull Riding? "Hey, I`m gonna hop on that 2,000 pound pissed off animal...Time me!!!"
Ya know those scenes where the guy shoves everything off the table and throws a woman on it yeah I`ve only done that with pizza
If I weren´t such an alcoholic I would throw my drink in your face
I remember 2012 like it was yesterday.
If cartoons can wear the same clothes everyday then so can I, dammit!
My participation in this meeting will be based solely on the snacks they provide.
I`m reaching the point where I really hope it`s not possible to be annoyed to death.
It`s not my fault you thought I was normal.
I`m not saying my wife`s voice is annoying, but right now I`m really jealous of deaf people.
Long story short, I love summaries
So red or white wine with hamburger helper?