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Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
There´s a thin line between "I should do a status update about that" and "I should talk to a therapist about that"
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
Candy canes are the perfect treat. They are minty & put you into the holiday spirit & can easily be fashioned into a shank.
This morning I jogged for 30 swear words.
Some of you need to be driven out to the country and released back into the wild
GF - What`s that beeping? Me - Fasten Seatbelt Alarm. GF - How can you ignore something so annoying? Me - Huh?
thinks it would be great if we really burped bubbles when we were drunk .. just like in cartoons.
The girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.. so I went out and got drunk.
I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can`t have any more food and I`m never ready for that kind of commitment.
Wait, whaddya mean... cookie dough can be baked? Seriously?
I`m going to hire two private detectives to follow each other .
A few more months without getting laid and I should be eligible for employment at Gamestop.
You guys make me wanna be a better alcoholic!
I bet the women who only post about sex are probably some of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in person.