Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
She might be ugly now, but wait a few more drinks.
Unlike milk, it is acceptable to cry over spilled beer.
My therapist cries "Why me?" for the full hour.
Music is best when it’s louder than I can think.
I have no fear of heights. I do, however have a fear of falling from heights.
With all the technology available now, you’d think they’d have found a way to grow apples without those little stickers.
Did you know, the designated driver is usually the guy having the most luck with the ladies.
No, an erection is not considered personal growth.
Be thankful your GPS doesn`t get PMS: “Fine! Turn whichever way you want! You never listen to me anyway!”
Every woman thinks her husband is a moron. And they’re absolutely right because smart men don’t get married.
Why is it all the good things in life are either illegal, immoral, impossible, addictive, or fattening?
I am not lazy, I`m on power saving mode
When someone tells you they`re playing a STD game... But you later realise they were talking about Spot The Difference.
I really think my life would be a lot better if my fitness app would just lower its standards