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What a rip-off. I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess.
I wish people would consult me before trying to insult me, because I could help them come up with a much better one.
Dear college students, Sorry about your GPA. - Netflix
Why doesn’t The Rock just tell us what he’s cooking? I can’t pair wines like this.
my Dr. says i have ADHD, i dont know how they see.... oooooh a squirrel!
I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.
You say I’m not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I’m not cold, I’m hot. I know I’m hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Have you ever thought about how weird it is that one of your hands is dumber than the other?
Gee I wish I could push the envelope... But it`s stationary.
I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.
It usually only takes about five minutes into any conversation I’m having before people start shaking their head and quoting the bible.
If a post is really good you will read it twice. if a post is really good you will read it twice.
I`ve accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.
My ice bucket challenge: 1. Buy bucket 2. Add ice 3. Add 12 beers 4. Sign into FB and drink
My horoscope says I will meet the woman of my dreams today. Not sure how my wife will take the news but I`m pretty damn excited.